Overwhelmed
by middaw
Summary: Explores the relationship between Carol and Daryl. Rated M because likely to become that in later chapters.
1. Chapter 1

It had been three days and Daryl had still not returned. It had only meant to be a run to get supplies from a town a few miles away. Something was definitely wrong and Carol was unsure how much longer she would be able to go before breaking down. She cursed herself for not letting him know how important he was to her. Their relationship was a silent one. They were both damaged people; so much so that neither had the capability to make the first move. Their emotional barriers were as real as thick, concrete walls. Neither could cope with the thought of the other's rejection, or for that matter, the reciprocation of their feelings for one another. It was a secret held deep within them both that they fought to hide from the other, each thinking that the other deserved more, not daring to even hope that the other felt the same.

It seemed so stupid and pointless to Carol now. She was under no illusions that Daryl thought of her as anything but a friend, but she regretted not having said anything. With a sigh, she realised it was only his absence that had brought her hugely suppressed feelings so starkly to consciousness. She had realised too late that he meant everything to her and had been lying to herself in order to avoid getting hurt, or getting Daryl hurt by making him feel obliged to her. It had just been too difficult to acknowledge her all-encompassing love that had been growing for some time now. Plus, she had never even given a second's thought to Daryl's non-return being an option. He could handle himself; Carol always felt totally safe when he was around. Nobody was better at surviving than he was. She slammed her fist against the wall in front of her.

So why wasn't he back yet?


	2. Chapter 2

Daryl had insisted that he go on the run by himself. If it was anybody else, Rick would not have allowed it. He knew Daryl to be a capable man though and something in his eyes communicated that he needed time alone. Besides, Rick was aware that he was in no position to stop him. Now Daryl was holed up in a storeroom, praying that the dozens of walkers milling outside the building would clear. It had been three days and he could still hear them out there. He was running low on food and out of water completely. Daryl had hidden the pick-up truck to save wandering strangers finding it and he knew now that he had tucked it away too well because the others would have located it and rescued him. There was only one option left; he was going to have to battle his way out. He had avoided doing this before because it was a suicide mission for sure. Without a shadow of a doubt, he would not be able to deal with all the walkers out there. He was outnumbered and would not be surviving, but Daryl would not let himself die without a fight. He could not let himself wither away slowly waiting for dehydration to claim him.

His decision made, he sighed deeply and Carol once again flashed into his mind. Daryl had spent a lot of his time holed up thinking about Carol; she was the reason he had needed to get away from the group alone in the first place. His feelings for her had become too strong recently and he could not trust himself not to make a move that he, or she, would later regret. He tried to avoid her as much as possible, but he would find his eyes automatically searching for her, his feet carrying him to sit next to her at mealtimes. Carol had set up her bunk next to his and he could barely sleep knowing that she was inches away, his whole being aware of her next to him. It was unbearable. He could not understand the hold this woman had over him and it scared him to death. He wanted her so badly and he had considered telling her but did not want to see her pitying face when she tried to let him down gently.

The morning he had volunteered to do the run, he had been eating breakfast sat on the floor next to her, their backs leaning against a wall. They were millimetres away from each other and he could feel an energy running between them. He brushed his arm accidentally against her and it felt like an electric jolt. He had looked at her in shock, but she had carried on eating her food and seemed not to have felt anything. Daryl had feared he was going mad and bolted out of the room. He had run into Rick a few minutes later and left almost immediately.

Daryl suddenly realised that he had not even said goodbye to Carol.


	3. Chapter 3

When Carol heard Rick and the others' car pulling up, she ran outside. Four people had left; Rick, Michonne, Glenn and Maggie. Carol quickly did a head-count; four people had returned. Dammit. Where was Daryl? She could no longer sit idly when there was still a sliver of hope that he was alive.

Michonne avoided looking at her, walking straight past to get some food. Glenn and Maggie eyed her as if scared of her reaction, Maggie clasping Carol's hand quickly as they walked by but neither saying anything. This is it, she thought. They had not come back with a body, but in this world, that did not mean that Daryl was not dead.

"Sorry, Carol." Rick was clearly exhausted and his eyes had a haunted look to them. Carol tried to hold herself together.

"You found him, didn't you?" she asked quietly.

"No. No sign of him". Carol exhaled loudly the breath she had been holding in relief. There was still a chance. Rick saw this and wanted to get her to grasp the reality of the situation. He continued, "I've got to be honest with you, though. It's not looking good. You need to be prepared for the worst; he might not be coming back."

Carol looked at him derisively. _Does he really think I don't know that?_

"We'll get some rest and head out again at dawn." Rick knew it would be another fruitless search but there was nothing else he could do. He was not looking to having to make the decision to call off the search and he would put it off as long as possible.


	4. Chapter 4

Daryl found himself staring the clipboard and pen that hanged next to the storeroom door. It was a list of everything that was checked in and out of the storeroom. An idea forming, he slowly walked towards it and lifted the two sheets attached. The lists were only on one side of the papers, the other side was blank. He took down the clipboard and grabbed the pen, settling back onto the floor. He needed to say goodbye to Carol.

He felt like an ape trying to write Shakespeare he hovered the pen over the clipboard. It was a foreign object in his hand; he had never really possessed the easy familiarity that came naturally to most people with holding a pen. Even before everything kicked off, Daryl was more likely to be holding a hunting instrument than a writing one. He had left school early having only learned the basics and not really had any cause to write since then. He did not know where to start but wanted to get it right. A memory from school drifted into his mind; his teacher saying that you should always start your letter with your address and the date. He raised his eyes to the ceiling in frustration, knocking the back of his head on the wall behind him when he realised he could not provide them even if he had wanted.


	5. Chapter 5

"I'm coming with you," Carol asserted.

Rick was trying to let her down gently but did not know how many ways he could say no before it sinking in. "You're not going. Like I said, you need to stay here and keep an eye on Carl and Judith for me."

"I'll go mad if I sit around here one more day. Let me come with you."

The argument had been going on more than ten minutes now and Rick was becoming impatient.

"Carol, you're not going anywhere. That is non-negotiable. You're too worried about Daryl to be useful to us. You'd be a liability more than anything else."

"I'm no more worried than the rest of you." Rick shook his head and scoffed at her. "I just need to get out and do something. Let me go with you. Please."

"Look, you're not going. Don't ask me again."

They left half an hour later, Rick could not see Carol and assumed that she had taken herself away somewhere to be alone. He did not know that she had stowed herself away in the back of the car under some tarpaulin.


End file.
